We Might Just Feel Good
by deeleigh
Summary: Spoilers for the past few episodes of season four, including CitC, GitM, and BitO but it's really nothing big. Booth and Brennan at the Diner. One shot. BB. Inspired a bit by the song 'Push' by Matchbox 20. I didn't spellcheck, so all mistakes are my own.


**I seem to be getting bored a lot recently. Maybe it's not such a bad thing.**

**None of it's mine. Zip. Nadda.**

_She said 'I don't know if I've ever been good enough  
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in  
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved  
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give  
And I'm a little bit angry, well '  
This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around  
You don't owe me, we might change  
Yeah we just might feel good _

_-Push, Matchbox Twenty_

They were sitting in the diner. The waitress had cleared her plate, and brought Booth a slice of 'The Pie of the Day', as always. Today was blueberry. If Brennan had to pick a pie, that would be it. Thursday's pie.

Booth looked up at her and offered her a bite. She shook her head no.

They sat in silence for a few minutes while he ate his pie, eyeing her with obvious concern. She just stared out the window.

"Bones, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, why?"

"You've been really quite today. I was just wonderin' if you had sometin' on your mind. You seem kinda distracted, that's all."

"I was just thinking."

Booth rolled his eyes. She was always thinking, her brain going atleast a three hundred miles a minute. "You're always thinkin', Bones. But nice try."

She sighed. "I just realized that two years ago today Sully left."

He felt his heart contract inside his chest. He hesitated. "And you're thinkin' maybe you should'a gone with him?"

She shook her head in the negative again. "No, that's not it. Look at how much I would have missed. I am very glad I stayed - I'm also glad that you decided not to go to India. I can't imagine how boring work would become if you had gone."

"But you love Limbo cases."

"Well, I love solving someones death, providing closer for families. But it's not the same as working in the field. I don't think I could go back to just lab work now."

"You're trying to change the subject. Good segue though. We were talking about good old Sullivan."

"I.. It just reminded me that I am very alone. I can never find anyone that is good enough, or not a killer, or who accepts me, and I started thinking that maybe the problem wasn't them, but that it could possibly be me. Mathamatically, it is most probable that the problem _is_ me. That maybe I'm not good enough for anyone. That no one ever loved me, and that maybe no one ever will."

It pretty much ripped his heart to hear here say such things. And even as she spoke the words, she realized it was a mistake. She saw his hurt instantly. She regreted every slip up she ever made around him. And it was happening a lot recently. She was calling him stupid, implying she couldn't see how it was worth it for him to love his son, and now, now she told him she'd never felt loved. For a genius, she sure was a damn moron.

He recovered as quickly as possible. He hid his hurt as well as he could and tried to comfort her. "Bones, if those guys can't see how incredibly lucky they are, it's their loss. There is absolutely nothing, and i mean nothing, wrong with you. I mean, Hell, look at you. You're brilliant, and beautiful, and although you don't know a whole lot of jokes, you're pretty damned halarious. And you're so caring. And you're loyal. And you can sing - I mean, what guy in their right mind wouldn't want to have a girl who could sing better than Cindy Lauper in their shower?

"And love is _not _math. I don't care what the hell you want to say about chemicals and all that jazz. Love is love. It's trust, and laughter, and all those little moments of tenderness. Love is feeling more whole than you ever have than with anyone else. I won't even try to sum up all the things that love is in English - no words are good enough. And you deserve all of that Bones. You deserve to have every single moment that every single little girl ever dreamed of.

"So don't tell me you're not good enough, or that no one ever loved you. Your dad loves you, your brother. Angela, me, even Parker loves the shit out of you. So don't even think it for a second."

She had this look in her eyes that Booth had been seeing more and more fo recently.

"You... you... you love me?"

He hesitated again, and looked into her eyes. What she saw there said more than his words did; his eyes held hope, and truth. And she was learning how to tell when he was lying. "Of course I do Bones," he said. "Your my best friend."

And even though she had seen a total different message in his eyes, it had vanished all too quickly, and the sting of rejection hurt just the same as any other time. It was jsut the same when he promised 'one days' and 'someones' and all that romantic epemera that he was always talking about.

It was her heart's turn to sink as she hid her true feelings, hoping that this mask wouldn't falter, that he wouldn't see right through her.

It was still her heart's turn to wait. Always waiting, never changing, yet losing hope all the more.

_Don't just stand there, say nice things to me  
I've been cheated I've been wronged you,  
And you don't know me, I can't change  
I won't do anything at all _

**Review?**


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